E.K.'s Journal of Stuff

Listen, I heard there's a movie where Colin Farrell plays an evil vampire and knew instantly I needed to watch it. It took me several years, but I finally did it! And oh god, it did not disappoint.

I wasn't expecting anything sophisticated and it definitely is just an average monster movie plot wise and effects wise it's uhhhh questionable, but! It's got hot vampires! Not just Colin Farrell, but way later there's a hot girl as a vampire too, at least for a bit, and she pins her boyfriend to the ground too. Also, David Tennant struts around in leather pants and no shirt, with eyeliner to boot, so there's a bonus (non-vampire) hot guy!

The only thing that kept bothering me about it is the misogyny and kind of... patriarchal themes I guess? A lot of it is about manhood, with the main character needing to learn to protect those he loves, which is FINE, but it involves his female loved ones becoming damsels even after they have badass moments. That's on top of a bunch of characters just saying misogynistic things for some reason, most baffling of which is the mom (played by Toni Collette!!) upon being warned to not talk to the extremely attractive evil vampire posing as a normal neighbor she says something like "I'm not some woman" to mean she can handle him. So idk, I dock a whole point just for that. I don't expect any piece of media to be perfect, especially not something from the early 2010s, but it was just so egregious man.

Actually, fuck it, this gets 1.5 points docked for the misogyny, cause it took me out so hard.

3.5/5 beer bottles (this joke only makes sense if you watched it lol)